I published recently a post focused on the “Heaviness of Criticism and Feedback” which invited for great comments. The comment of Dennis Pitocco is a great summary of the post. Dennis write, ‘Thoughtful, constructive feedback that offers alternatives and suggestions is indeed crucial for growth without crushing spirits. Lightening feedback often involves balancing critique with encouragement and focusing on specific, actionable improvements.’
The following discussions revealed that self-awareness and feedback are interlinked. Inspired by a comment from Visweswaran Balasubramanian prompted me to suggest that Johari Window offers the litmus test for our reading to welcome critical feedback.
Johari window is a 2X2 matrix. It has four quadrants as explained in the image below.
What is known to self, known to others is open area, ideal place.
What is known to self, unknown to others is hidden area, self expression will help.
What is unknown to self, known to others is blind spot, seeking feedback will help.
What is unknown to self, unknown to others, is totally unknown, can be explored only through shared discovery which is a combination of self introspection, self expression, feedback, probing etc.
Low feedback permeability to fill the voids of what we do not know and the readiness of the receiver to accept feedback and enhance his self-awareness along with the process of offering feedback.
The unknown area is big for a person with low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem have low permeability to feedback.
It is the same with the blind area. If a person shows resistance to critical feedback he shall most likely be impermeable to suggestions from others. His self-awareness shall remain low.
Process of Feedback
Another important factor for accepting feedback is the process we follow in giving feedback. This is a hugely important point and deserves further exploration.
One suggestion on how to conduct feasible feedback was offered by Zen Benefiel in a comment. Zen write, ‘an old friend and dearly departed explained a great process he called ‘Gifty Gias.’ At first it was super challenging, because the habit is to defend oneself.
Gather a group of cohorts, friends, workmates et al in a circle. Place yourself in the center of the circle, preferably in a chair, though standing can have interesting insights as well.
The group is instructed, in turn, to offer their worst, best and how you can improve – in their opinion. The delivery method and protocol is to speak in love, however challenging that might be. Of course, sometimes things still come our a bit rough. The intention, however, reduces the listening errors.
Now, here’s the real challenge: All you can say is, ‘Thank you,’ or ‘Please tell me more.’ Anytime self-defense talk enters, the ‘monitor’ stops the activity, briefly, reiterates the rules, and then the process continues.
Milka Zadok Adiga then picked the thread and shared her family experience in providing feedback.
‘On the family level both my grandfather and my father will removed the Crown and will seat on the carpet we will come around and tell them what we feel no matter how harsh the criticism is they will not say a word but to listen. After the meeting things will begin to change for or against’
Unless we give feedback openly and using the right process we may increase the impermeability to accept feedback.
Self-Awareness and Johari Window
Humans suffer from self-biases and tendency to blame others for their faults. Unless critical feed back is welcome by humans they shall fall in the trap of self-bias.
Self-bias is the enemy of self-awareness.
Johari Window offers a great opportunity to know in which quadrant one falls and then be willing to accept feedback.
What is the level of self-awareness if one falls in the blind area?
Same applies to those people who fall in the hidden area?
Self-awareness shall decrease the bigger those areas are,
It is only in being open to honest feedback within a friendly process that we may grow. This way we defeat self-biases and enhancing our self-awareness.