The quote of F. Scott Fitzgerald surprised me. He wrote. “The test of first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold to opposite ideas in at the same time and still retain the ability to function’.
My surprise stemmed from the fact that we live in world of opposites. We cannot have light without darkness, success without failures and joy without pain. This is the law of nature.
A coincidence it was that both Milka Zadoc Dubai and John Moore provided two examples in their comments.
Milka wrote, “So I decide on digital detoxing and question the dilemma of seeking connections, ending up of feeling more disconnected”. The contradiction of having more connections and yet feel more disconnected most of us face today.
John Moore wrote. “I was letting a negative emotion telling me that having emotions is bad. Yet, there I was leading myself by emotion”. We do sometimes what we avoid doing.
The above quotes are examples of cognitive dissonance. The unpleasant emotion results from holding two contradictory beliefs or attitudes at the same time.
My youngest daughter Sarah when she was about five years old or less told me “Dad, because I love you so much I stopped loving you”. This represents a great example when we hold both emotions of love and hatred to someone coexist.
We lose our ability to hold two opposites because we fight against one of them while favoring the other.
The denial of the fact that opposites coexist trouble us.
We need to accept both opposites such as joy and pain, and success and failure. The acceptance give us the peace of mind that allows us to handle both opposites wisely.
We need not dissipate our energy in solving the conflict of opposites.
How do you deal with opposites? Please share your experience.